Days 9 & 10: Groups A and B resolved

Firstly, my apologies for not covering Day 9 yesterday – I’ve been busy setting up my new laptop. Hooray for me. Anyway, here’s a double-header to make up for it.

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So on Sunday it was the first of the simultaneous group wraps, with Turkey completing a stunning comeback to beat the Czech Republic 3-2 in one of the strangest fifteen minutes I’ve seen for a long while. The first half was a bore, the Czechs running the game without any real Turkish resistance at all. When Jaroslav Plasil made it 2-0 I was sure that was game over, and considered switching over to the Switzerland-Portugal game. Thankfully my decision to stick with it was worth it – first Arda Turan confirmed his growing reputation with the Turkish opener, then, more sadly, Petr Cech confirmed that he hasn’t been the same keeper since Stephen Hunt kicked his head in a year or so ago. That really was a first-grade howler – the Cech of two years ago would have caught that cross 100% of the time, no question. A real shame, but what made it more painful was the exquisite winner two minutes later, Nihat breaking the offside trap with ease and powering a fantastic shot in off the underside of the crossbar. Brutal.

As if that wasn’t enough, Turkish goalkeeper Arslan Volkan decided that it was a good time to blatantly push Jan Koller over in the penalty box. The most obvious red card you’ll ever see, you have to wonder what the hell he was thinking – and if I was Fatih Terim, I’d seriously consider not bothering to pick him after his ban even if they get past Croatia into the semi-finals. Luckily, I’m not Fatih Terim – I have no desire to be a Turkish Terry Venables any time soon. So, the Czechs were knocked out and Croatia-Turkey looks like being an interesting quarter-final.

As I said, I didn’t see any of the Swiss-Portugal game, aside from one replay of the disallowed goal (not enough for me to make a judgement on whether or not it was offside), and the two Swiss goals. I mean, seriously – what the hell were Portugal doing losing 2-0 to that side? I know they made 8 changes and were already through, but surely those 8 players wanted to earn a place in the quarter-final line-up? Difficult to argue with the heart of the Swiss performance, though, by the sounds of it. They’ve certainly given a better account of themselves than their co-hosts.

So on to last night’s action, where Germany qualified courtesy of Michael Ballack’s free-kick goal (the first decent free-kick of the tournament, I might add) in a 1-0 victory over Austria, who made a mockery of the nostalgia-fest covering their famous victory in Cordoba all those years ago by showing just how useless they are, particularly, again, in the opponent’s half. Despite the ineptitude of their opposite numbers, Germany weren’t great either, and again it was the strikers who were the issue. Miroslav Klose did pretty much nothing all night, though at least he did nothing wrong per se, which is more than can be said for his partner Mario Gomez. Having been hyped by everyone pre-tournament, including yours truly, he topped his anonymous first two performances by being actively bad last night, missing a tap-in nearly on a par with the easiness of Hakan Yakin’s puddle-aided goal last week. His confidence is clearly shot and I doubt we’ll see him start a game again in this tournament.

Meanwhile, what on earth went on between Jogi Low and Josef Hickersberger, the two managers, on the touchline shortly before half-time? I didn’t catch all of what was happening (more laptop fiddling) at the time, so am still quite clueless about the whole thing – but it looked surreal, Hickersberger not once but twice strolling into the German technical area and harassing the staff for no apparent reason, then as the two managers continued bickering, ignoring the referee’s attempts to get them to stop, they were quite rightly sent to the stands. Then, Low had the cheek to go and get his jacket first, before the two managers shook hands on the way out. What on earth was all that about?

In other news, Croatia top the table with 9 points having beaten Poland 1-0 thanks to Ivan Klasnic’s goal. That is all I know about the match, having seen none of it. Sounds like Croatia did pretty well despite playing a second team. I tell you, they’re going to the final.

Day 5: Swimming with the Swiss and Scolari to Chelsea

Czech Republic 1 – 3 Portugal. A decent enough game that was flattered somewhat by the two early goals – it was exciting without either team ever playing that well. The Czechs deserved more than they got – their midfield, and, shockingly, Milan Baros, were very hard-working and did well to bounce back from Deco’s early goal. Portugal will be praised for their attacking verve, but it’ll be blind praise based on reputation rather than substance – they weren’t that good at all yesterday. Deco did his best to fluff the first goal, and he would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for that pesky Marek Jankulovski. Cristiano Ronaldo’s second goal was the only noteworthy thing he did all game, Galasek and Grygera having done an excellent job of keeping him quiet for vast periods of time. Quaresma’s third was fair enough, but I’ll be bitter about it anyway. On this evidence, the Czech-Turkey group finale should be a good match, but I think the Czechs will come out on top.

Speaking of the Turks, what a brilliant game their 2-1 European Swimming Championships win over Switzerland was. I was anticipating an utter bore, but thanks to the monstrous downpour the match was given atmosphere, drama, and its fair share of comedy. If they hadn’t been on such a tight logistical schedule the game would have been abandoned, but I’m glad it wasn’t. Hakan Yakin’s goal was hilarious, the pass from Derdiyok slowing to the speed of continental drift over the goalmouth puddle, giving him the easiest tap-in of all time.

Yakin also got the second easiest tap-in of all time later in the game – but he missed that one, which is probably why Switzerland are now out of the tournament. It’s a shame for the co-hosts, but an inevitable one. Nul points, here we come. Glad to see my pick for Turkish Man to Watch, Arda Turan, get the winner – albeit fortuitously. When he got on the ball he played excellently, a real achievement considering the conditions. They’ll need him at his best if they want to get past the Czech Republic.

But the biggest story of the day was from the Portugal camp – but not for much longer. Big Phil Scolari’s the new Chelsea manager! WOOHOO!

I can’t tell you how excited I am. My dad, a Chelsea fan, isn’t so keen, but I can’t wait – this man is the best possible alternative to the Special One for comedy value. His English isn’t great but his journalist-punching is, and to be able to watch his touchline antics every week is great news. Bring it on!