The CDB Awards: South Africa 2010

So, the greatest show on Earth has closed its curtains for another four years (at least until the first qualification match for Brazil 2014 is played in about 13 months’ time) and it’s time to have a look back at the good, the bad and the ugly of South Africa 2010 in the CDB Awards.

Best Match

For me, the most exciting match we saw over the competition was one of the most controversial games – Uruguay’s quarter-final win over Ghana could not be matched for sheer emotional drama. We were treated to some fluent attacking football by both sides, particularly by Uruguay, but Sulley Muntari’s long-range swerver just before half-time stole the initiative for the last remaining African side. Diego Forlan scored a great free-kick to equalise and both sides kept going for it, coming up pretty much on a par with each other and tiring a little. Extra time arrived and it got desperate by the end, with Ghana throwing a couple of kitchen sinks into the Uruguay box right at the death before the Hand of God 2: Hand Harder scandal. Luis Suarez’ instinctive block to deny a last-gasp winner spawned a ludicrously overblown furore, demonising the player for doing what any player (the Ghanaians included) would have done in his situation, and Asamoah Gyan’s failure to convert the penalty with the last kick of regulation play was a great shame, but you cannot deny the spectacle of it. Sebastian Abreu’s inappropriate but wonderfully ballsy chipped penalty to seal the win was the icing of the cake.

Runners-up: Slovenia 2-2 USA, Slovakia 3-2 Italy, Germany 4-1 England, Argentina 0-4 Germany, Uruguay 2-3 Germany

Best Individual Performance

Bastian Schweinsteiger’s unstoppable performance at the heart of Germany’s dismemberment of Argentina was a real highlight. It was a display of total dominance, with tough tackling that never became thuggery, sharp passing to start counterattacking moves, and involvement in two of the goals. His free-kick cross for Thomas Mueller’s opener and effortless slipping away from Angel Di Maria and Javier Pastore to supply Arne Friedrich were excellent. His performance only gets better when you consider that just one year ago, Schweinsteiger was an underachieving winger for club and country. Louis van Gaal has done wonders with him over the past season at Bayern Munich and no-one will have been prouder than him as Schweinsteiger announced himself as one of the world’s leading central midfielders.

Runners-up: Mesut Oezil (Germany 4-0 Australia), Diego Forlan (South Africa 0-3 Uruguay), Ryan Nelsen (Italy 1-1 New Zealand), Jean Beausejour (Chile 1-0 Switzerland), Thomas Mueller (Germany 4-1 England), Xabi Alonso (Germany 0-1 Spain)

The “Looks Like An Alien Sent From Outer Space To Play Just Off The Main Striker” Award

Mesut Oezil.

Best Hair

Honduras didn’t stand out for much in this tournament but fringe player (geddit?) Walter Martinez sported a breathtakingly silly dreadlock affair with the tips coloured alternately red and yellow. Stupendous effort.

Worst Individual Performance

I have never seen one player perform so badly and stay on the pitch the full ninety minutes as Wayne Rooney did for England against Algeria. He looked exhausted, uninterested and cripplingly short of ideas, and you could tell how angry he was with his outing by his outburst to the cameras at the end berating the fans for booing the team.

Runners-up: Abdelkader Ghezzal (Algeria 0-1 Slovenia), Sidney Govou (France 0-2 Mexico), John Terry (Germany 4-1 England), Felipe Melo (Netherlands 2-1 Brazil), Mark van Bommel (Netherlands 0-1 Spain)

Best Team Performance

Tough one to call, but I’m going for Spain’s slow-burning victory over Germany in the semi-final. They only won 1-0 and it was only through a Carles Puyol header from a corner, but what was so notable was the total cohesion and patience as they breezed past what had previously been the best team of the whole competition. Before the game there was reason to believe that Germany might neutralise Spain with their determined pressing all over the pitch but it turned out to be the eventual champions who took the German midfield out of the game, constantly hounding the defenders to force long balls forward, which just completely nullified Schweinsteiger, Oezil, and Sami Khedira. The scoreline suggested a close game, but it really wasn’t at all. Contrast Portgual’s 7-0 victory over North Korea where Carlos Queiroz’s side were no better than average at any stage.

Runners-up: Uruguay (vs. South Africa), New Zealand (vs. Italy), Germany (vs. Argentina)

Most Inspiring Team

Look no further than New Zealand – who would have predicted before the tournament kicked off that the All Whites would be the only team to leave South Africa with an unbeaten record? Ricki Herbert’s lower-leaguers and amateur bank clerks played with more pride than anyone else and you couldn’t help but wish they could have found that elusive goal against Paraguay which would have taken them through as group winners. Their backs-to-the-wall defensive performance to earn a draw with the holders Italy will live long in the memory.

Breakout Star of the Tournament

Turned out to be Bayern’s Thomas Mueller, the 20-year-old right-sided forward who came out of nowhere to sneak the Golden Boot with five goals and three assists. Displayed incredible poacher’s instincts to always arrive in the box at exactly the right time with lethal finishing to boot. Surely the natural successor to Miroslav Klose and now established as a world star.

Worst Team Performance

England’s dire 0-0 with Algeria wins on match alone, but France’s limp capitulation to Mexico takes the crown for its aftermath as well as the ninety minutes themselves. Literally nobody had a good game for France, utterly devoid of any desire and looking desperate to be eliminated just to get away from the clownish Raymond Domenech. Nicolas Anelka’s foul-mouthed tirade to the manager at half-time sparked a few days of hilarious self-destruction that brought such shame on everyone involved that President Nicolas Sarkozy vowed to personally conduct an investigation into the team’s performance.

Runners-up: Greece (vs. South Korea), England (vs. USA), Algeria (vs. Slovenia), Slovakia (vs. Paraguay), Switzerland (vs. Honduras), Honduras (vs. Switzerland), England (vs. Germany)

Team of the Tournament

Playing 4-2-3-1 as nearly all the successful teams did.

Iker Casillas (Spain); Philipp Lahm (Germany), Gerard Pique (Spain), Diego Lugano (Uruguay), Jorge Fucile (Uruguay); Bastian Schweinsteiger (Germany), Sergio Busquets (Spain); Thomas Mueller (Germany), Andres Iniesta (Spain), David Villa (Spain); Diego Forlan (Uruguay)

Best Overall Player

Forlan for me was the only man to play really well in all seven games, leading his team to a fantastic fourth place finish with intelligence and flair. Never once did he dive or complain to the referee either, just got on with the job in hand. By all accounts the nicest man at the World Cup, too, always taking time to sign autographs or talk to journalists and fans.

Player Most Likely To Have Earned A Big Money Transfer

Most people will remember Luis Suarez for the handball against Ghana but don’t forget his three well-taken goals, including an absolute pearl against South Korea, his searing pace and constant willingness to get in the box and shoot. Considering his fifty-plus goals for Ajax last season, expect plenty of rumour regarding his destination in the next few weeks.

Runners-up: Mesut Oezil (Germany), Kevin-Prince Boateng (Ghana)

Goal of the Tournament

Look no further than Giovanni van Bronckhorst’s straight-as-an-arrow rocket blast against Uruguay in the semi-final. After several keepers had been caught out by the late movement of the Jabulani ball, Fernando Muslera could not complain about this one. From the moment it left his boot, it never deviated and struck perfectly off the inside of the far post and in.

Runners-up: Siphiwe Tshabalala (South Africa, vs. Mexico), David Villa (Spain, vs. Honduras), Fabio Quagliarella (Italy, vs. Slovakia), Keisuke Honda (Japan, vs. Denmark), David Villa (Spain, vs. Chile), Andres Iniesta (Spain, vs. Chile), Carlos Tevez (Argentina, vs. Mexic0), Miroslav Klose (Germany, vs. Argentina)

Alternative Team Of The Tournament

This is a team of players who might not have gone all the way in the tournament but still stood out as great without really getting all the praise they may have deserved. In many ways every bit as good as those who made the main team of the tournament. Also playing 4-2-3-1.

Samir Handanovic (Slovenia); John Pantsil (Ghana), Ryan Nelsen (New Zealand), Yuji Nakazawa (Japan), Carlos Salcido (Mexico); Anthony Annan (Ghana), Diego Perez (Uruguay); Landon Donovan (USA), Yasuhitu Endo (Japan), Jean Beausejour (Chile); Nelson Haedo Valdez (Paraguay)

Day 20: They Showed What They Were Merde Of

What? Where’s the football gone? Come back!

Well, it’s the first rest day of the tournament as the remaining eight teams prepare for the quarter-finals. So I decided to take this opportunity to reflect on one of the biggest stories of this World Cup so far – France.

Before I start on the serious analysis, let me start with HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I mean, come on, it’s pretty funny. Rarely do you get to see a team self-destruct quite so spectacularly.

It all started in 2004 when Raymond Domenech was surprisingly appointed manager of the French national team following their exit from that year’s European Championships at the hands of eventual winners Greece in the quarter-finals. He had been in charge of the under-21 side for the past eleven years. Their qualifying campaign for Germany 2006 was stuttering, with France struggling against such footballing luminaries as Israel, Switzerland and the Republic of Ireland. They were in real danger of not qualifying at all, but then Domenech aggressively begged retired greats Claude Makelele, Lilian Thuram, and Zinedine Zidane to bail them out. Inspired particularly by Zidane, France managed to scrape through. At the World Cup that followed, France reached the final and might well have won if Zidane hadn’t had his infamous moment of madness, but none of it was down to Domenech. The players, with very little respect for their manager, who had little ability to influence a game and omitted talented players like Robert Pires because he was a Scorpio (according to Domenech, Scorpios “can’t be trusted”), held a revolution around the leadership of Zidane to get as far as they did. The result looked good on the manager’s CV but it wasn’t his achievement.

After that successful campaign, Domenech led his side into Euro 2008 qualification. Zidane had returned to retirement, but when Claude Makelele announced that he too was retiring from international football, Domenech disgracefully said no. “As long as he can walk, he will play,” said the loon, “I have the right to pick him.” This disgusting treatment of a player who had given long years of great service to his country and now wanted to be able to prolong his professional career at club level indicated Domenech’s desperation and inability to get the best out of the players who were actually available to him. Domenech kept calling him up and Makelele, to his great credit, played on.

At Euro 2008, France were drawn in an admittedly tough group with Italy, the Netherlands and Romania, but performed poorly. The team was old, slow and uninspired, and finish bottom of the group. They looked hopeless and leaderless, and Domenech should have been sacked there and then. The players blatantly didn’t believe in him but the French Football Federation pointed to the World Cup final two years previous and kept him on. And so the malaise continued into the World Cup qualifiers.

France were again poor in that campaign and finished second behind Serbia, who looked comfortably more assured, competent and determined. They then faced that infamous playoff with Ireland, and but for two missed Irish chances and a disgraceful example of cheating from a self-styled ambassador of the game in Thierry Henry, they would have never made it to South Africa.

When they did reach the finals, their group wasn’t the easiest in the world but considering the playing resources at their disposal, France should have made it out on paper. However, it became clear in the first game, a limp performance in a  0-0 draw with Uruguay, that the same problems that had always been under Domenech’s management were still there. There was no belief and no clear game plan. Time went by but Domenech didn’t act to change things for the better. And it just got worse from there. When France lost horrendously to Mexico, Nicolas Anelka berated his manager to kick off the release of all the pent-up discontent in the camp. Apparently Anelka’s situation was resolved inside the camp and it was agreed it would stay until the details of the story were leaked to the press. As soon as the FFF got hold of it they decided to expel Anelka from the squad, which upset many French players including the captain Patrice Evra, who talked of a “traitor” in their midst.

In the next training session Evra was involved in a huge row with the fitness coach Robert Duverne, presumably because he thought that he was the man who had leaked the story, and then we were shown the bizarre sight of Domenech reading a written statement by the playing squad saying that they would be boycotting training. All semblance of discipline and unity was completely lost, as was any lingering illusions that Domenech was in control of his side. He dropped several players, including Evra, for the final match against South Africa, needing a miracle to qualify, but another poor performance saw France lose to the hosts to leave with just one flattering point. The players never gave any other impression on the pitch other than that they couldn’t wait to be shot of the manager and start the new era under Bordeaux coach Laurent Blanc, who was confirmed before the tournament to be taking over after proceedings in South Africa were closed. Domenech himself ended his reign by refusing to shake South Africa coach Carlos Alberto Parreira by the hand, claiming Parreira had offended him when several months previously he had commented on the Henry handball incident. It was a petty, depressing sight that summed up his awful, incompetent tenure that somehow became the longest period in charge of the French national team of any manager in their history.

Now in the aftermath of the debacle, Thierry Henry, still nominally the captain but who played almost no time at all on the pitch, personally requested a meeting with his country’s President, Nicolas Sarkozy, to discuss the issues involved in the team’s exit. That this should be taken to the government is quite insane but I imagine that it will have little consequence for the Blanc era – Henry is a player who will have to be jettisoned by the new manager, having been past his best for a few years now and heading most likely to the MLS this summer, his exit from Barcelona confirmed last week.

Moving forward to the future, France will have the shadow of this World Cup hanging over them for a long time. It’s been a seriously embarrassing and depressing circus that will have affected some players more severely than others and major changes will be needed to lift the nation. Luckily, Blanc seems an excellent appointment, having brought Bordeaux right back to the top of French football playing really beautiful, exciting football in the process, and working closely with Yoann Gourcuff, the midfielder who was underused by Domenech and got harshly sent off in the South Africa match. He’s a player of boundless talent who really can be this new team’s Zidane, and together with Franck Ribery France already have two players to build a team around. There’s also Karim Benzema and Samir Nasri, two excellent young players inexplicably left at home by Domenech in favour of makeweights like Sidney Govou, and also Philippe Mexes, who for many years has been an absolute rock at the heart of the Roma defense and was controversially almost never picked by Domenech and who missed out on both the past two World Cups. Hugo Lloris didn’t have a great tournament here but he is a top class goalkeeper, and there are plenty of other young talents like Lassana Diarra and Mathieu Valbuena who can make a name for themselves on the international stage. I have no doubt that Blanc is the right man for the job, and in Brazil in 2014 France should be back where they belong – competing with the big guns.

Day 12: Game Evra for France and the Hosts

Mexico 0 – 1 Uruguay

France 1 – 2 South Africa

Nigeria 2 – 2 South Korea

Greece 0 – 2 Argentina

Our first pair of second round matches has been decided and, after some frenetic matches, it’s Uruguay and Argentina who secured top spots to book games against South Korea and Mexico respectively. Which means that it’s the end of the road, as I think everybody was suspecting, for the French circus of merde, but they sadly managed to assume the role of party poopers by derailing what looked like a possible South African miracle.

After a successful testing of my dual-wielding screen system allowing me to follow both matches at the same time, I originally began by focusing my attention on the game at the top between Mexico and Uruguay, an exciting match between two teams who clearly did not want to have to meet Argentina in the next round. It was end-to-end with chances for either team and Mexico nearly took the lead when Andres Guardado fired an absolute missile from range that thumped against the crossbar and bounced narrowly back into play. I daresay the goal is still rattling from the blow. By and large, though Mexico continued to suggest that they lack a striker with enough of a poacher’s instinct to finish off their exciting attacking moves. Guillermo Franco started again today and he just doesn’t look like he has the finishing ability to be a threat at international level. By contrast Luis Suarez finally got the goal that was definitely coming to him by neatly tucking in a header just before half-time, the result of a fabulous cross by Edinson Cavani on the far right. The game continued in a similarly attacking vein for most of the remaining time, and the competitive edge to a game many were writing off as a draw was obvious to see when Diego Perez suffered a head wound after jumping aggressively with Giovani dos Santos. However, I had mostly switched my attention to the other game in the group since about the half-hour mark.

France and South Africa went into the game knowing that both teams needed to win by at least four goals to stand a chance of qualification, but this France team giving such a performance would have been unimaginable. A team in total disarray following their well-publicised chaotic few days (I’ll probably go into more depth on the subject when we start having rest days with no matches played), France saw their captain, Patrice Evra, dropped along with Abidal, Toulalan, Govou, Malouda and, obviously, Nicolas Anelka, with Yoann Gourcuff restored to the team and Djibril Cisse and Andre-Pierre Gignac starting up front. I can only assume that Thierry Henry was one of the ringleaders of this players’ revolt otherwise he surely should have started in a game where big game experience was required. South Africa were far more settled mentally, though they too made a few changes to field a more attacking 4-4-2. The hosts started brightly, undaunted by the enormity of their task, and got just reward with Bongani Khumalo’s header from a corner opening the scoring.

The moment that really gave hope to the possibility of the rout they needed was not a goal but the somewhat harsh red card for Gourcuff halfway through the first period. There was certainly contact with the elbow in the defender’s face but it’s hard to say he meant it – there didn’t really appear to be any malice in the collision. Still, Gourcuff will probably have been glad to have been shot of the Domenech regime just that bit earlier than everyone else. Almost immediately after South Africa doubled their advantage, Katlego Mphela bundling over the goal line to get the goal he has deserved for his hard-working performance throughout the group stages. At half-time it really seemed possible that South Africa could pull off this miraculous achievement – France again just weren’t there, the players looking tired and frustrated with frankly awful body language, and South Africa just had to push them hard enough. Mphela had a couple of decent opportunities in quick succession early on in the second period but couldn’t quite convert them, but you sensed that everything was still possible even as another twenty minutes passed and the chances slowed somewhat. It was all brought down to earth, though, when Franck Ribery made an explosive burst into the penalty area with the ability we all know he’s capable of but that we hadn’t seen at all so far, the goalkeeper rushed to meet him by necessity but Ribery pulled it back and Florent Malouda could not miss.

It was immediately obvious that South Africa didn’t have the capacity to recover and score the required three in twenty minutes. The whole thing petered out from there. It’s a huge shame to see the hosts leave the tournament, the first time it has ever happened in the group stage, but they have done better than many expected them and will look back with some pride at their victory over a great footballing nation when the disappointment has been digested. France will be glad to get out of the tournament and return home, finally free of the tyrannical lunacy of Raymond Domenech and ready for a serious makeover under Laurent Blanc. Uruguay advance to the last sixteen in form and could realistically reach the semi-finals, while Mexico will probably fall short against Argentina.

Speaking of Argentina, I started by paying attention to their match with Greece hoping to see the ultra-negative anti-footballers punished by some more of Argentina’s incisive attacking play. I was disappointed. Greece, knowing that they needed to avoid defeat to have a chance of progression, parked the bus as we expected, but Argentina too knew that a draw secured first place and so declined to take any risks. Lionel Messi, surprise captain for the day with Mascherano rested and Juan Veron overlooked, was kept mostly quiet in the early stages by Sokratis Papastathopoulos. Late on they managed to snatch the goals that ensured a 100% record for the group through Martin Demichelis, who has been suspect at the back so far but who thumped home after a corner caused panic in the box, and Martin Palermo, Maradona’s favourite who was brought on for the last fifteen minutes and tapped in after Messi’s shot was palmed away by the Greek keeper. It was a pretty dull match and so I spent little time watching it, so forgive the lack of in-depth analysis.

Much more engrossing, not necessarily because of the standard of football, which was raised in aggression but low on quality, was Nigeria’s draw with South Korea that ended the hopes of another African nation. Considering how the two sides have played in their three games I don’t think it’s unfair to say that South Korea definitely deserved to go through more, but we may look back on the group stages in a few days’ time and say that this really was the group where an African nation really should have progressed. Nigeria were typically sloppy in front of goal throughout the game. They did take the lead through Kalu Uche’s tap-in but wasted a few good chances, none more awfully and hilariously than Yakubu’s miss from four yards of a totally open goal. It was harder to miss than to score and that moment is destined to be replayed on a thousand “World Cup Gaffes” DVDs hosted by Danny Dyer. Yakubu will have been glad that Kim Nam-Il conceded a penalty just a few moments after coming on allowing him to put the ball in the net a couple of minutes later, but that equaliser to Lee Jung-Soo’s scruffy goal and Park Chu-Young’s excellent free-kick strike should have been followed up on competently, and it just wasn’t. Nigeria tried to get forward but never really looked like scoring a third. South Korea, for their part, weren’t great but did enough to hold on. They were less fluent than they have been in previous games and will need to recover the form of their opener if they are to overcome Uruguay. Argentina on this form should get past Mexico and could go far, though my personal suspicion is that they will meet Germany in the quarters and exit then.

Man of the Day: In truth nobody really excelled today but Mphela did as much as anyone to push South Africa towards what could have been a famous feat. Luis Suarez, though, probably had the best performance of the day, so we’ll give it to him.

Tomorrow, I expect the USA to have little trouble beating Algeria and frankly I refuse to commit to any sort of prediction regarding England. Germany will beat Ghana, though I’d love for the Black Stars to prove me wrong about African sides in the last sixteen, and I’d be surprised at any result other than a Serbian win over Australia.

Day 8: It Was The Best Of Games, It Was The Worst Of Games…

Germany 0 – 1 Serbia

Slovenia 2 – 2 USA

England 0 – 0 Algeria

Forgive me, dear readers, for I am struggling to muster the enthusiasm to write about today’s games. Which is a real shame because until this evening we were watching a really classic day at the World Cup, including the best game of the tournament so far.

We started, though, with another shock as Germany were brought down to earth by Serbia. They weren’t helped, of course, by the first really poor refereeing performance of the finals, the Spaniard Alberto Undiano Mallenco setting the tone of the game early by giving a really soft yellow card and, having set himself a precedent, proceeded to book players for any contact of any kind, culminating in the sending off of Miroslav Klose for two yellow cards. Neither of the fouls were really worthy of a booking and the sixth red card of the tournament seriously affected the outcome of the game in arguably more dramatic fashion than the mistake in the second match later on. Without their main striker Germany’s attacking strategy was completely broken. Mesut Oezil, so impressive flitting around off Klose against Australia, had to play as the main centre forward and simply couldn’t do it. Thomas Mueller tried hard but couldn’t get much luck against the solid Aleksandar Kolarov, and Lukas Podolski didn’t look the same after his tame penalty was saved by Stojkovic in the Serbian goal, a huge reprieve for Nemanja Vidic’s idiotic handball that was nearly a carbon copy of the one committed by Zdravko Kuzmanovic in the Ghana match. Jogi Loew’s substitutions didn’t really change anything either, and so Milan Jovanovic’s well-taken goal just after the sending-off was all that was needed for Serbia to really blow this group wide open again. Serbia weren’t all that but they were enough, and now have good odds of getting out of the group.

Straight after that match was a real classic – the USA staging a brilliant comeback to draw with Slovenia 2-2 having been two down at half-time and outplayed all over the pitch. They should have won as well, Maurice Edu’s late goal disallowed by the Malian referee for, well, I don’t know. There was no offside and the only fouls in the box were three committed by Slovenian defenders wrestling the Americans to the ground. Still, though, the Americans will be delighted with a draw because they seemed buried at half-time. Landon Donovan made it a contest again by scoring just after the restart, dribbling well into the penalty box, and when no team-mates materialised for him to cut it back to, he simply blasted it into the roof of the net from close range – Samir Handanovic was right next to him but could do nothing about the rocket-propelled shot. From then on the US pounded and pounded on the Slovenian door and though it was getting desperate, Michael Bradley’s brilliant equaliser did feel inevitable. Now facing Algeria in the final game, the USA should qualify for the second round.

Speaking of Algeria, they did deserve a point today but England did not. I have been watching England for a long time now, and I’ve seen some pretty poor performances, typically underwhelming efforts against teams they would have been expected to beat comfortably, but this really was the worst I have ever seen from an England side. There were simply no redeeming features to their performance today. The only player to not have been completely awful was David James, restored to goalkepeing duties following Green’s demotion, and that was only because Algeria couldn’t summon a really venomous shot. Nothing worked at all, and it has to be said that Capello made some serious tactical mistakes in this game. In a similar way to how Domenech changed the players but not the failing system last night against Mexico, Capello persisted with a 4-4-2 that clearly wasn’t working at all, with Gerrard simply unable to get involved properly on the left, an abysmal Rooney coming deep into no-man’s-land to try and link up with his captain, and Heskey having a shocker, at one stage embarrassingly trying to do a step-over on the edge of the box like he was Kaka only to completely miscontrol it.

But what did Capello do to change things? After an hour he withdrew Aaron Lennon for Shaun Wright-Phillips – who are THE SAME PLAYER. Naturally it affected nothing. Defoe for Heskey made some sense – there was no joy trying to play long balls into Heskey and so Defoe offered a different outlet but they didn’t really use him properly and the issues of Rooney, Gerrard, and the anonymous Lampard remained. His last throw of the dice was Crouch for Barry, and it looked like a different formation might be on the cards, but instead Gerrard moved central and Rooney to the left. Meanwhile the players who could actually have offered a real change in approach watched on, Joe Cole from the bench and Adam Johnson from home. The world has moved on from 4-4-2 and England just looked completely unable to perform in that system. It is totally clear now that Rooney must start as the lone striker against Slovenia with Gerrard in support. A 4-2-3-1 would suit the strengths of these players, but after a performance this bad the question will be whether England will be mentally able to pull themselves together. They left the field obviously frustrated and empty, Rooney showing his anger by turning to the TV cameras and sarcastically spitting “nice to hear your own fans boo ya”. Well, what exactly did he expect? In truth I suspect he was using the fans to vent his anger at his own performance as well as the team’s. I’d call him England’s worst player today but that would be far too generous to so many players. How Lampard, for example, remained on the pitch for 90 minutes is a mystery to me. England will still qualify if they beat Slovenia, but on the form showed today, I’d expect a Slovenia win. They at least clearly want to qualify.

Man of the Day: Valter Birsa was exceptional on the right flank for Slovenia and scored probably the best goal of the tournament so far, an out-of-the-blue curling shot from way out. His colleague Miso Brecko at right-back probably made the more lasting impact on that game, though, as Birsa faded a little in the second half.

Tomorrow, I expect a Dutch win over Japan, Ghana to beat Australia, and a draw between Cameroon and Denmark.

Day 7: …and Aquariuses Can’t Manage

Argentina 4 – 1 South Korea

Greece 2 – 1 Nigeria

France 0 – 2 Mexico

Groups A and B really took shape today as one former World Cup-winning team all but booked their spot in the second round, one former European Championship-winning side came from behind to stay in the hunt for theirs, and another team who had won both in the last twelve years were practically spectators as their own chances all but vanished right before their eyes.

The first of those, of course, was Argentina, who survived a wobble in the first period of the second half to seal what was eventually a comfortable victory over South Korea. Despite a lot of hard work and effort from Huh Jung-Moo’s side, Maradona’s men, particularly Leo Messi, ran riot throughout the first half and were given the goal they deserved after about fifteen minutes when Park Ji-Sung’s poor marking in the penalty box allowed Messi’s clever free-kick to drift over him and off the shin of the unsuspecting Park Chu-Young, who couldn’t really have done anything about it. Gonzalo Higuain then scored the first of his hat-trick by tucking away a routine header after more poor defending from South Korea saw two defenders in red trying to cover four attackers as Maxi Rodriguez’ cross came in. With the defence overstretched, Higuain’s job was really done for him. In fact, even though he scored a hat-trick, Higuain wasn’t really the most effective player on the pitch, his other goals coming from a tap-in after Messi did brilliantly to set up a chance and hit the inside of the post, and then another fantastic Messi run before Sergio Aguero put it on a plate for the Real Madrid striker. What Higuain did well was being in the right place at the right time, but all the work was done for him and any player would have scored those goals. That’s not saying he had a bad game, just that history will say that this was his day, but in reality, it was Messi, and, in the first half, Tevez and Rodriguez, who should take the plaudits for this win.

South Korea showed some signs of rallying in the first part of the second half, their lucky break provided by an awful Martin Demichelis error in the dying seconds of the first half, and if Yeom Ki-Hun had put away the great chance that opened up for him while the score was still 2-1, things might have been different. But in fairness they did not deserve a point from this game, never really looking like they could cope with the Argentinian forwards. They will be upbeat about their chances of progression, though, with Nigeria next up for them and Greece having to play Argentina.

Greece face a really tough test to make the second round having to play Messi et al in the final group game but they are at least in with a shout, which is not what I was expecting to say about half an hour into their match with Nigeria. Having conceded a rather hilarious goal in which Peter Odemwingie successfully duped the Greek goalkeeper Tsorvas into diving to meet the header but in fact left Kalu Uche’s cross alone to let it drift into the far corner of the net, Greece were just as awful in the first thirty minutes as they were against South Korea, with no drive or coherence at all and looking like one of the worst teams I’d ever seen at a World Cup. Then one moment of madness went their way – only Nigeria’s Sani Kaita will know why he aimed a kick at a Greek player on the touchline – and they were playing against ten men with an hour to play. Suddenly the Greeks decided they had a shot and pushed forward a bit. The equaliser was lucky, though, Dimitrios Salpingidis’ shot deflecting harshly off a defender, but after it went in you couldn’t really see Nigeria getting back into it.

The balance of results today though means that nobody is out of it yet in Group B. Even Nigeria can still scrape through if they beat South Korea by two or three goals and Greece get the spanking from Argentina that I think everyone expects them to on this form, but for my money I would still expect South Korea to qualify. They may not be able to cope with Messi in full flow but, frankly, who can? They still have more quality and composure about them than Nigeria and should do enough to make it through to the second round.

Who they’ll face depends on how Mexico and Uruguay fare in their final match against each other next Tuesday. That is now the game that decides everything in Group A after Mexico completed an easy win over hopeless France tonight in Polokwane. Mexico, feeling that they’d let themselves down only coming away with a point against South Africa in the opener, were stronger and more ruthless today, and would not have been flattered by a higher winning margin. Their goals came from their three substitutes as Javier Aguirre used his squad wisely – the first a run off the last defender timed to perfection by Javier Hernandez, leaving him one-on-one with Hugo Lloris miles away from the French back four, and he rounded the keeper and slotted in coolly to give Mexico their deserved lead. Pablo Barrera, on for Carlos Vela who looks to have damaged his hamstring and could be out for a while, brought about the second with a blistering run on about 76 minutes that left Patrice Evra for dead and drew a straightforward penalty from Eric Abidal (not the first time Abidal has been exposed like that at a major tournament). 37-year-old Cuauhtehmoc Blanco dispatched it with aplomb, out of Lloris’ reach.

It was no more than Mexico deserved and set up a mouthwatering clash with Uruguay to decide the group winner – a draw would qualify both and see Uruguay top the table on goal difference, but the incentive to avoid Argentina in the second round should give both teams reason to go for the win. It would still be difficult for France or South Africa to qualify even if the that match isn’t a draw because of goal difference, so an exciting game should be in store.

France, though, were absolutely awful, and asking why you really cannot look further than Raymond Domenech. He once again showed tonight nothing short of complete managerial ineptitude. After a first half in which his team were lucky to come in on level pegging, their forward players having failed to combine or even really get any meaningful time on the ball, Domenech made a substitution, bringing on Gignac for Anelka, but it changed nothing at all because it was like-for-like and the same problems remained – Franck Ribery, France’s best hope of making anything happen, couldn’t make any impact in the centre but was left there to rot all through the game, Sidney Govou continued his awful World Cup isolated and ignored on the right, and Gignac was given no service at all. Florent Malouda at least seemed to be sort of trying but was having no luck and yet the tactical system, quite plainly not functioning in any way, was never changed. Where Aguirre showed talent for utilising his substitutions, Domenech couldn’t have used his worse – the first might as well not have been made as it changed nothing, the second saw Mathieu Valbuena replace Govou but he only had about three touches all game and also did not change the system at all anyway, and the third wasn’t even bothered with. Fifteen minutes to go, France were 2-0 down playing one striker up front who was crying out for more support, Domenech did nothing as Thierry Henry and Djibril Cisse simply stood behind the goals and watched as their team were sunk without so much as a whimper.

French fans will be utterly delighted when they are put out of their misery on Tuesday because it will mean the end of Domenech’s horrific reign over the national team, during which he has brought chaos, disharmony and confusion to a squad chock full of amazing players, demonstrating for literally years the complete inability to change a game if things aren’t going his way, which, funnily enough, they usually weren’t. I suspect that as soon as Laurent Blanc takes over at the start of the new season you will see France flourish again and people will say “how on earth did this team do so badly at the World Cup?”. I also suspect that Raymond Domenech will never work in football again. Who’d hire him now?

Man of the Day: Unquestionably Messi, who perhaps was still not yet at his frightening best but was comfortably the most effective player on the pitch against South Korea. Honourable mentions to Nigeria goalkeeper Vincent Enyeama (not least because I forgot to give him this “award” on Day 2) and Javier Aguirre.

Tomorrow Germany, on a high, should see off Serbia unless they can recover from a highly disappointing first game, the USA should beat Slovenia, and England…well, who knows? It is only Algeria…

Day 6: Forlan of Hope and Glory

Honduras 0 – 1 Chile

Spain 0 – 1 Switzerland

South Africa 0 – 3 Uruguay

An intriguing day at the World Cup has ended on something of a sad note as the hosts’ hopes of making the second round took a body blow, but as always we’ll start with the first game, where we finally got a look at Chile, a side I’ve been waiting with some anticipation to see in action, and I was not disappointed. Given most of the posession by a Honduras side trying to play on the break, Chile took advantage although they failed to convert a number of chances, much like Argentina and Mexico already in this tournament. However they will be delighted with their performance, especially with super striker Humberto Suazo still to return from injury. When he is ready to play, Jorge Valdivia can drop back to his preferred playmaker role and Matias Fernandez can move to the left, and that should see them an even stronger side than we saw today. Alexis Sanchez was the main star for Chile, causing constant problems for the Honduran defenders although if anything he could have been a little less selfish – one a couple of occasions, Sanchez tried to dribble too long or shoot when it wasn’t really on. He also threw himself to the ground a few times looking for free kicks where none were deserved. Remind you of anyone? No wonder Real Madrid are sniffing around.

Honduras, though, don’t look like having any sort of impact on this group at all, even when they get their own Suazo striker, David, back. They didn’t show any spark at all and surely cannot hope to dig out the sort of result that Switzerland managed this afternoon, stunning everyone (certainly me) with a dogged, hard-fought 1-0 upset over favourites Spain. It’s hard to say they really deserved it: the goal came from their only serious attack of the whole game and was bundled over the line by Blaise N’Kufo only after the Spanish defence fell completely asleep, having been duped by the Swiss’ total lack of enterprise into forgetting they were actually playing football rather than watching it. They did defend much better, though, tucking in really narrow so that Spain were constantly forced to pass the ball out wide, which is not how they prefer to play. David Villa was totally isolated on his own up front and Fernando Torres too was successfully crowded out after his arrival. Andres Iniesta on the left seemed very reluctant to try and cross the ball, which was the only option he really had, but even if he had tried Villa in particular is not really an aerial threat. If I were Vicente del Bosque I would have been very tempted to put Fernando Llorente up front, the tall Athletic Bilbao striker who would have given them that option. Villa’s scoring record for Spain is unquestioned but he clearly was having no impact on the game at all and you feel that had Silva been on the left, Jesus Navas on the right, and Torres and Llorente through the middle, Spain would have stood a better chance of breaking down the Swiss rearguard.

As it is they now face a battle to get out of their group. They must hope that Chile do not suffer the same fate against Switzerland, though tactically that side should face similar problems, and then to get a positive result against the South Americans in the final group game. It is a bonus that Spain’s next match is against Honduras, where a morale-boosting thumping could well be on the cards. In many ways this is the real test for Spain – the mental barrier of the World Cup apparently still remains but the Honduras game represents an opportunity to get over that barrier right in front of our eyes and send out a message that they are still the best side in the world. I’m still optimistic for Spain’s chances but they will need to build up momentum to get out of this group, and score plenty of goals while doing it if they want to finish top and avoid a meeting with Brazil in the second round.

With the first round of group games over, the second set of matches started in more promising fashion in terms of style and intent, as Uruguay were clearly more determined to get a win having avoided defeat in their first game. The gap in class between them and South Africa was clear as day, Diego Forlan in particular turning in an assured, confident performance pulling the strings in a slightly unfamiliar role behind the two main strikers. Far from being intimidated by the atmosphere in Pretoria, where the noise particularly during the South African national anthem as the entire stadium bellowed out at incredible volume, Uruguay seemed to shine under pressure. Several players upped their game from the underwhelming France stalemate, Luis Suarez in particular showing up with more threat and purpose than he had against Les Bleus despite not getting in the goals. The sending off of goalkeeper Itumeleng Khune was a heartbreaking moment but the referee, Massimo Busacca, got the decision spot on, Suarez having been onside as the ball was played through and the keeper unable to avoid bringing him down. Forlan again showed incredible calm and mental strength to hit such a brilliant penalty having had to wait for many minutes as Bafana Bafana scrambled to bring their substitute keeper onto the pitch.

This result means South Africa face an uphill struggle to qualify for the second round. They were always going to be up against it but after the opening match there was a feeling that they could run it closer than people expected. They’re not down and out just yet, though, as to bet against Raymond Domenech’s France making a hash of things would be a brave bet indeed. I hope the local fans stick by their team, as it was such a sad sight seeing so many of them trudge out of the stadium after the second goal went in.

Man of the Day: Diego Forlan. He completely ran the show against South Africa and showed his talent and adaptability by taking to the role behind the main strikers like a duck to water.

Tomorrow, Argentina meet South Korea in what could be a really fascinating game – I’m going to go for a draw there, Greece will probably grind out a 0-1 defeat to Nigeria, and France face Mexico in a decisive Group A game where I would expect Mexico to emerge on top.

Day 1: Tshaba-ooh-la-la

South Africa 1 – 1 Mexico

Uruguay 0 – 0 France

So, the greatest show on Earth finally got started and the first match was full of excitement if not fulfilled potential. At half-time South Africa were lucky not to be one or two behind, as Giovani Dos Santos ran the show for Mexico, showing strength that I didn’t know he had to ride though tackles and generally make life really difficult for the hosts’ defence, who I thought put in a really determined, heroic performance. Bongani Khumalo was one who really stood out for me, with a couple of incredible last-ditch precision tackles in perilous situations.

By the hour mark the game South Africa did need a goal, though, to stave off the sense of inevitability surrounding Mexico’s protracted but somewhat toothless swarming of their goalmouth. They got one too, an absolute beauty by left winger Siphiwe Tshabalala, having been played in by a delightful first-touch pass by Kagisho Dikgacoi, put away with power and venom. The cheers from the local fans in Soccer City grew so loud that they were actually audible over the howling of the vuvuzelas, which did annoy me but I suspect I will become so used to them that by the time this tournament is over I will not be able to watch football again without them.

Mexico were frustrating, with Guillermo Franco making for an underwhelming centre-forward, but there was definitely a sense that they were underachieving and South Africa were at their proud, fighting best. If I were Javier Aguirre I’d probably look to start Cuauhtemoc Blanco in the next match against France, who may need to be substituted after an hour or so but showed more evidence of being able to take advantage of defenders than Franco.

Speaking of France, they really missed a trick by not putting away a Uruguay side who didn’t really meet my expectations. Blundering Raymond Domenech showed exactly why he’s on his way out, simply allowing the game to drift out of his hands as he refused to bring in Florent Malouda, a player who ironically Domenech has been including for years despite consistent poor performances for club and country, but who in the last 12 months has come into the form of his life and whose attacking impetus France sorely lacked. When changes were made they were the wrong ones – Thierry Henry’s impact these days can no longer be as a lone striker so much as a withdrawn support player, so replacing Nicolas Anelka for him was an awful call, and the ineffective Sidney Govou was left on the pitch for far too long as he failed to change anything. Govou was responsible for missing the game’s golden chance just six minutes in, trying to sidefoot an incisive Ribery cross and making minimal contact, letting it drift harmlessly wide.

Uruguay largely disappointed me. Diego Forlan was the standout man for them, dropping deeper than he would normally do to try and make things happen, and at half-time I felt that it was just a matter of time until he put it on a plate for Luis Suarez, but the latter was too busy being constantly offside to link up properly. There were signs that that pairing can click in this tournament but it didn’t quite work tonight, and Uruguay need them to pull an otherwise decent but unspectacular side up to greater heights.

Man of the Day: No question. Tshabalala has saved South Africa from real embarrassment by ensuring that they don’t finish with nul points and his goal, which will go down as one of the great World Cup openers, was brilliantly taken.

Tomorrow, South Korea should draw with Greece, Argentina will beat Nigeria, and England will likely labour to a victory over the USA.

World Cup Guide: Group A Preview

Only eight days to go! I am becoming ludicrously excited about the World Cup, and so it’s about time to get started on the group-by-group team preview. One will be posted here every day and then on Friday the 11th, the real action starts.

GROUP A
South Africa

FIFA World Ranking: 83

Team Colours: Yellow shirts with green trim, green shorts with yellow trim, yellow socks. Away kit is the inverse.

Manager: 67-year-old Brazilian Carlos Alberto Parreira is in his second spell in charge of South Africa, having previously resigned in April 2008 before being brought back in October last year. He is hugely well-traveled, and shared the world record of having been one of only two coaches to take four different teams to a World Cup (Kuwait in 1982, UAE in 1990, Brazil in 1994 and 2006, and Saudi Arabia in 1998). He will catch up with the man who overtook him, the Serbian Bora Milutinovic, this summer. He’s also managed in Ghana, Turkey, and the USA, so certainly won’t be short for knowledge, but he doesn’t have a great deal to work with.

Form: As hosts, South Africa did not have to qualify for this tournament, although ironically a lack of competitive football was exactly what this team did not need. They finished fourth at the dress-rehearsal tournament the Confederations Cup last summer and performed reasonably well though they failed to beat a big team.

Captain: Aaron Mokoena has endured a pretty horrific season with relegated penniless scumbags (bias mine) Portsmouth, where he has at least been able to get plenty of defending practice in. The 29-year-old is a solid defensive midfielder who can play at centre-half as well, and he celebrated winning his 100th cap in their last friendly against Guatemala, where he wore the squad number 100 to commemorate the occasion. He will need to prove himself an inspirational leader, though, to help his country through their group.

Key Man: Undoubtedly Everton’s sought-after midfielder Steven Pienaar, who is the only touch of real class in the South African squad. He can play wide on either side or as an advanced midfielder through the middle, and you can be sure that Bafana Bafana will constantly be aiming to give him the ball in the hope that his silky dribbling can work some magic.

Man to Watch: With Benni McCarthy omitted due to lack of fitness, 32-year-old striker Siyabonga Nomvethe has been given a chance to return to the international fold having been overlooked for the 2008 Africa Cup of Nations and the Confederations Cup last summer. He doesn’t have an outstanding scoring record for club or country but is by far the most experienced of the short-staffed South African frontline and will need to step up if South Africa are to have any chance.

Prediction: Everyone wants to see the hosts do well at the World Cup but realistically, South Africa are not going to progress from this group. (There aren’t many groups they would get out of.)  They just don’t have enough quality players to make an impact at this tournament and would do well to get a single win against any of the other teams in the group. Fourth place in Group A beckons.

Squad List:

Goalkeepers

1. Shu-Aib Walters (Maritzburg United)

16. Itumeleng Khune (Kaizer Chiefs)

22. Moeneeb Josephs (Orlando Pirates)

Defenders

4. Aaron Mokoena, captain (Portsmouth)

14. Matthew Booth (Mamelodi Sundowns)

3. Tsepo Masilela (Maccabi Haifa)

2. Siboniso Gaxa (Mamelodi Sundowns)

5. Lucas Thwala (Orlando Pirates)

19. Anele Ngcongca (Genk)

20. Bongani Khumalo (SuperSport United)

21. Siyabonga Sangweni (Golden Arrows)

Midfielders

6. MacBeth Siwaya (Rubin Kazan)

10. Steven Pienaar (Everton)

11. Teko Modise (Orlando Pirates)

8. Siphiwe Tshabalala (Kaizer Chiefs)

13. Kagisho Dikgacoi (Fulham)

17. Surprise Moriri (Mamelodi Sundowns)

7. Lance Davids (Ajax Cape Town)

23. Thanduyise Khuboni (Golden Arrows)

12. Reneilwe Letsholonyane (Kaizer Chiefs)

Forwards

15. Siyabonga Nomvethe (Moroka Swallows)

9. Katlego Mphela (Mamelodi Sundowns)

15. Bernard Parker (FC Twente)

MEXICO

FIFA World Ranking: 17

Team Colours: Green shirts with red trim, white shorts with red trim, white socks with red trim. Away kit is all black with red trim everywhere and some green trim on the shirts.

Manager: In his last spell in charge of Mexico, Javier Aguirre took his country to the last 16 in 2002 without hugely impressing. He has since enjoyed a successful period at the helm of Osasuna in Spain, whom he took to an unexpected Champions League qualification in 2006. After that he went to Atletico Madrid, whom he returned to a strong position in the Spanish league following some poor previous seasons. Despite returning them to the Champions League he was sacked in 2009, which turned out to be just in time to bail out ailing Mexico. Has a reputation of being somewhat difficult to get along with.

Form: Under the management of Sven-Goran Eriksson, Mexico’s qualifying campaign started poorly, with the team struggling to impress themselves on their opponents, and only scraped through to the final phase of qualifying on goal difference over Jamaica. Losses against Honduras and the USA in the first three games of the final phase saw Sven removed and replaced with Aguirre, who, despite a bad start, losing 2-1 to El Salvador of all people, revitalised the team who eventually qualified with a game to spare. Have been impressive since, their stylish display against England in a recent friendly evidence of their youthful verve in attack.

Captain: Cultured defender-midfielder Rafael Marquez was surprisingly replaced by Aguirre as captain in favour of the more tenacious midfield general Gerardo Torrado. The Cruz Azul captain is amusingly known as “El Borrego” or “The Sheep” for his bushy hairstyle. Spent the first half of the 2000s in Spain but never managed to hold down a regular place at any of his several clubs there, but has prospered back home in Mexico resulting in his elevation to the international captaincy. A strong, bustling player, Torrado is highly influential for Mexico.

Key Man: PSV Eindhoven left-back Carlos Salcido is an adventurous, attacking full-back whom Mexico are keen to utilise at every opportunity. The 30-year-old perhaps doesn’t posess the technical ability of some of his teammates but his work rate and determination are second to none and you can expect to see him pop up on the left wing frequently. If opponents can shut him down they limit Mexico’s attacking options.

Man to Watch: It’s hard to look past Manchester United-bound striker Javier Hernandez, who has recently burst onto the international scene with 7 goals in 11 games on the back of a similarly promising scoring rate for his hometown club Guadalajara. Looks pacy and exciting, and will likely be used by Aguirre as a secret weapon coming off the bench to finish teams off.

Prediction: Having recovered from the poor Sven era, Aguirre’s side look an exciting prospect. There are plenty of options in a youthful forward line (as well as 37-year-old veteran Cuauhtemoc Blanco, coaxed out of retirement by Aguirre) who can do all kinds of damage to teams who are not prepared for it. They have an excellent chance of claiming top spot in the group and could go quite far, realistically the quarter-finals.

Squad List:

Goalkeepers

1. Oscar Perez (unattached)

13. Guillermo Ochoa (America)

23. Luis Ernesto Michel (Guadalajara)

Defenders

2. Francisco Javier Rodriguez (PSV)

3. Carlos Salcido (PSV)

4. Rafael Marquez (Barcelona)

5. Ricardo Osorio (unattached)

12. Paul Aguilar (Pachuca)

15. Hector Moreno (AZ Alkmaar)

16. Efrain Juarez (Pumas)

19. Jonny Magallon (Guadalajara)

20. Jorge Torres Nilo (Tigres)

Midfielders

6. Gerardo Torrado, captain (Cruz Azul)

8. Israel Castro (Pumas)

18. Andres Guardado (Deportivo La Coruna)

Forwards

7. Pablo Barrera (Pumas)

9. Guillermo Franco (unattached)

10. Cuauhtemoc Blanco (Veracruz)

11. Carlos Vela (Arsenal)

14. Javier Hernandez (Manchester United)

17. Giovani Dos Santos (Tottenham)

21. Adolfo Bautista (Guadalajara)

22. Alberto Medina (Guadalajara)

URUGUAY

FIFA World Ranking: 16

Team Colours: Blue shirts with white trim, black shorts, black socks. Away kit is white with blue trim.

Manager: 63-year-old Oscar Tabarez, another manager in his second spell in charge of his team, having previously led Uruguay in Italia ’90. Plenty of experience, having managed Boca Juniors and Cagliari twice, as well as a short spell some years ago with A.C. Milan.

Form: Uruguay nearly benefited from Diego Maradona’s managerial circus to qualify automatically from the CONMEBOL group, but eventually had to settle for their third straight play-off, overcoming Costa Rica to return to the tournament, having missed out in 2006 at the hands of Australia. They scored more goals than Paraguay and Argentina who finished ahead of them in qualifying, and they do look more competent in attack than defence.

Captain: 29-year-old centre-back Diego Lugano is Uruguay’s best defensive asset, who scored one of the crucial goals to get the team past Costa Rica. Can be somewhat temperamental (something of a tradition for Uruguayan captains) and also likes to make the odd expedition into the opponent’s box. Uruguay will need him to be at the top of his game.

Key Man: You can’t look past experienced striker Diego Forlan, who since enduring a torrid time at Manchester United has been reborn in Spain at first Villareal and now Atletico Madrid, scoring at just about a goal every other game for the past six years and frequently topping the La Liga scoring charts. He is the man who Uruguay will turn to to power their way out of the group, and if he can get the service, he will put them away.

Man to Watch: Ajax’s exciting 23-year-old forward Luis Suarez will play just behind Forlan in the Uruguayan starting lineup, and can also play on the wing if necessary. Has a phenomenal scoring record for the Dutch club of 74 goals in 97 games, and manager Martin Jol entrusted the youngster with the club captaincy following the departure of Thomas Vermaelen to Arsenal. Together with Forlan he forms a potent front line that every team in this group will be scared of.

Prediction: If Forlan and Suarez can fire then Uruguay could surprise a few people. Much will depend on their first game against vulnerable France. If Uruguay can get a result in that game it should give them the confidence to capitalise and get out of this group, but if not their frailer defense may see them overtaken by France and Mexico. I reckon they may just sneak through at France’s expense.

Squad List:

Goalkeepers

1. Fernando Muslera (Lazio)

12. Juan Castillo (Deportivo Cali)

23. Martin Silva (Defensor Sporting)

Defenders

2. Diego Lugano, captain (Fenerbahce)

3. Diego Godin (Villareal)

4. Jorge Fucile (Porto)

6. Mauricio Victorino (Universidad de Chile)

16. Maxi Pereira (Benfica)

19. Andres Scotti (Colo Colo)

22. Martin Caceres (Juventus)

Midfielders

5. Walter Gargano (Napoli)

8. Sebastien Eguren (AIK)

11. Alvaro Pereira (Porto)

14. Nicolas Lodeiro (Ajax)

15. Diego Perez (Monaco)

17. Egidio Arevalo Rios (Penarol)

18. Ignacio Gonzalez (Valencia)

20. Alvaro Fernandez (Universidad de Chile)

Forwards

7. Edison Cavani (Palermo)

9. Luis Suarez (Ajax)

10. Diego Forlan (Atletico Madrid)

13. Sebastian Abreu (Botafogo)

21. Sebastian Fernandez (Banfield)

FRANCE

FIFA World Ranking: 10

Team Colours: Blue shirts with red and white trim, white shorts with blue trim, red socks with white trim. Away kit is white with thin red and blue stripes and trim, blue shorts with white trim, white socks with blue trim.

Manager: Raymond Domenech is to leave his post at the end of this competition, and it is utterly inexplicable why it has taken the French authorities so long to ask him to do so. Since taking control of Les Bleus in 2004, Domenech has been making ridiculous tactical and selectional decisions left, right and centre, and has been dining out on France’s fluky road to the final in 2006. As a keen astrologer, he admitted publicly that the reason he did not pick Robert Pires was because he “distrusted Scorpios”, and after the 2006 World Cup when Claude Makelele announced his retirement from international football, Domenech quite insultingly announced that he would keep calling up Makelele regardless, saying “as long as he can walk, he will play. I have the right to pick him”. French fans will be rejoicing at the news that Bordeaux’s Laurent Blanc is to replace him after the tournament, but will be desperately wishing that he was already in charge.

Form: A highly uninspiring qualifying tournament saw France finish second behind Serbia and requiring a play-off against the Republic of Ireland to make it through, and we all know what happened there. France, as they always have been under Domenech, have been deeply average and underperforming recently, and there seems little reason to get excited about this team.

Captain: Disgraced cheater Thierry Henry says he will not have a problem with being used as a supersub, having replaced Nicolas Anelka from the bench in recent games. This is a rare astute decision by Domenech, as Anelka is in the form of his life and Henry has passed his peak. The va-va-voomster does still have something to offer but is no longer the world-beater that he used to be, as evidenced by his expected imminent move to the New York Red Bulls. William Gallas will probably start with the armband in his absence.

Key Man: No question about it, Franck Ribery is the main man for France. His presence was sorely missed by his club Bayern Munich in the Champions League final this year, and his highly intelligent wing play will be the main attacking outlet for France this summer. A successful tournament could elevate him to the top tier of players in the world today.

Man to Watch: Look out for Bordeaux’s hugely exciting playmaker Yoann Gourcuff. At 23, he should already be the focal point of the French midfield, but of course isn’t under Domenech. He has an astonishing range of passing and will get forward and make things happen. If he is given the proper freedom to play his game, he and Ribery could make France great to watch. (If that doesn’t happen, you can be sure that Blanc will build the team around him in future.)

Prediction: On paper France have a decent squad with potential to play some really exciting football. However, everything comes down to how badly Raymond Domenech is going to mess this team around. He doesn’t know how to make them play well and he doesn’t know how to change a game when things aren’t going his way. Unfortunately I don’t think France should expect a particularly successful campaign, and, as said above, that first game against Uruguay will be crucial. I think the winner of that game will join Mexico in the second round, and I have a sneaky feeling that that winner will not be France.

Squad List:

Goalkeepers

1. Hugo Lloris (Lyon)

16. Steve Mandanda (Marseille)

23. Cedric Carrasso (Bordeaux)

Defenders

2. Bacary Sagna (Arsenal)

3. Eric Abidal (Barcelona)

4. Anthony Reveillere (Lyon)

5. William Gallas (Arsenal)

6. Marc Planus (Bordeaux)

13. Patrice Evra (Manchester United)

17. Sebastien Squillaci (Sevilla)

21. Gael Clichy (Arsenal)

Midfielders

8. Yoann Gourcuff (Bordeaux)

10. Mathieu Valbuena (Marseille)

14. Jeremy Toulalan (Lyon)

15. Florent Malouda (Chelsea)

18. Alou Diarra (Bordeaux)

20. Abou Diaby (Arsenal)

22. Franck Ribery (Bayern Munich)

Forwards

7. Sidney Govou (Lyon)

9. Djibril Cisse (Panathinaikos)

11. Andre-Pierre Gignac (Toulouse)

12. Thierry Henry (Barcelona)

19. Nicolas Anelka (Chelsea)

Day 11: France euthanased by Italy

So it was probably the most anticipated day of the competition so far – the (third) rematch between the two World Cup finalists. It was hyped pre-tournament as the group decider – but for first and second place, rather than potentially as low as third, depending on Holland and Romania. I was thrilled to see the game meaning so much to both teams, but once again France showed just how inflated their expectations were.

To be fair, they had a disastrous start. Franck Ribery was the one player they absolutely couldn’t afford to lose, but he succumbed to what looks like a really nasty ankle and knee injury (there’s no word yet on how long he’ll be out, but I’m guessing a good couple of months at least) after only seven minutes. The second disaster was entirely their fault, however – Eric Abidal (who despite noises from the BBC has proved himself in the past to be a competent centre-back as well as left-back) made a rash, doomed-to-failure challenge on Luca Toni in the penalty box for the clearest straight red I’ve seen in a while. It was at that point that Raymond Domenech proved there was no way back – he brought on Jean-Alain Boumsong to solve all their problems.

We should have seen this coming. France rested on their laurels far too much after a flattering trip to the World Cup final and relied on fast-fading old hands like Thuram, Makelele and Henry. The former two have now announced their international retirements (again), in the first of what must be a series of radical overhauls of the team. Benzema, Ribery and Nasri must become the focus, and Henry, Vieira, Govou, Sagnol, Coupet et al must be jettisoned.

In the game I didn’t see so much of (I caught a few minutes after it became clear that France-Italy wasn’t going anywhere), Holland’s second string (and what a second string it is, by the way) cruised to a 2-0 win over Romania, slicing through the defence that had caused so many problems to the French and Italians to further boost their hopes of going all the way. Their goals were far too easy, showing up the Romanians a tad, but Mutu et al will remain threats in World Cup qualifying.

So Italy set themselves up a mouth-watering quarter-final with Spain in what is probably the best result for the quality of the tournament. From what we’ve seen so far, though, you’d bet on Spain.

Day 3: French snoozefest and Dutch drama

…and how they proved me wrong! Last night’s Holland 3 – 0 Italy was easily the best game of the tournament so far and probably the best game I’ve seen for a few years. More even than the score suggested, some uncharacteristically dogged Dutch defending kept the Italians at bay in the second half in between a couple of cracking counterattack goals.

Now, of course, the first goal looked like a clear offside, but apparently the law is on van Nistelrooy’s side – Keith Hackett, chairman of the Premier League referees, says that because Christian Panucci was bundled off the pitch by his own goalie he counted as active, so the goal was right to stand. Never have I been so pleased to see Ruud van Offside (as I always knew him) do what he does best – a combination of unexpected relief for the Dutch and some level of karma for Italy’s injury-time penalty against Australia in the World Cup quarters for Fabio Grosso’s Olympic dive. Now that justice is done I feel I might be able to enjoy Italy smash the French in their final group game – which they surely will, given yesterday’s evidence.

On that note, I don’t think I have ever seen two more contrasting games in so close a space of time ever. Romania 0 – 0 France was quite simply horrendous, with Raymond Domenech earning himself a sacking in my book. It’s been a while coming, but playing two holding midfielders for ninety minutes against that Romania side, actually reducing the amount of strikers he had on the pitch with fifteen minutes to go, and just generally failing to inspire any sort of desire at all in the French to win the game – all of which are criminal offences where managers are concerned. Even now, having had time to sleep on it, I still feel the pain that my brain was suffering through that festival of inanity. Not only have France made it nigh-on impossible for them to qualify, facing next a Dutch team who got the biggest confidence boost imaginable, and then an Italy side who will almost certainly need a win against them. It’ll take more than Patrick Vieira and Thierry Henry to make this side good enough to get through, I suspect.

But let’s focus on the good, and Holland have certainly had the best possible day. They probably only need a draw against France to all but ensure qualification, with a win guaranteeing coming top bar any Romanian miracles. Wesley Sneijder’s goal, their second, has set the bar very high for Goal of the Tournament, and if we get a few more goals (and games) like last night’s, this tournament will have been more than worthwhile.

David Pleat Watch

A surprisingly subdued night for Pleat’s inaccuracies last night, though of course there was an exception – Mauro Camoranesi seems to have been named purely for the purposes of confusing the poor sod. Oh, and Dutch defender Joris “Mat Assen”. Will somebody teach this man to speak?

Euro 2008 Preview: Group C

Team: France

Manager: Raymond Domenech has never quite been fully accepted by all French fans. His record is good – after all, France were a penalty kick away from the World Cup not so long ago – but that was after he had to convince Zidane, Thuram and Makelele to come out of retirement to do it. Since then, he dropped in my estimations considerably when he refused to recognise Makelele’s decision to return to international retirement and forced him to join up with the team anyway. Makelele kept quiet about it but Domenech came across very badly. You have to wonder what that says about his confidence in his other midfielders, despite having what looks like a very good squad indeed.

Strip: Blue shirt, white shorts, red socks, with red trim on the shirt. Second strip is red shirt, white shorts, blue socks.

Captain: Patrick Vieira will definitely miss the opening fixture against Romania, and is a serious doubt for the rest of the tournament, which would be a massive blow to Les Bleus. Lilian Thuram will probably lead the side in his absence – a pretty bad idea if you ask me. He’s gotten far too slow for top-class games and should have gone back to international retirement after the World Cup. I guess Domenech wouldn’t let him either.

Form: The French endured a nervy qualifying campaign, eventually finishing second behind Italy to hold off a spirited Scottish charge, which saw France lose home and away to Alex McLeish’s team. Their pre-finals friendlies tell us little apart from the fact that their forward line is one to be scared of – Henry passed Michel Platini’s goals record in qualifying, Karim Benzema is the best young player in Europe, Nicolas Anelka is as good as ever, and…

Man to Watch: Bafetimbi Gomis, the 22-year old St. Etienne striker, who scored twice on debut against Ecuador in a warm-up friendly the other week and is being chased by Newcastle, among others. He notched 16 for Les Verts in the Ligue 1 season and looks a strong, pacy forward. France really will be spoilt for choice.

Prediction: Should make it out of the group despite the formidable opposition, but will hope to avoid meeting Spain in the quarters. I’m going to hazard a guess at a loss in the semis to Fernando Torres et al.

Squad List:

Goalkeepers

1. Steve Mandanda (Marseille)

16. Sebastien Frey (Fiorentina)

23. Gregory Coupet (Lyon)

Defenders

2. Jean-Alain Boumsong (Lyon)

3. Eric Abidal (Barcelona)

5. William Gallas (Arsenal)

13. Patrice Evra (Man United)

14. Francois Clerc (Lyon)

15. Lilian Thuram (Barcelona)

17. Sebastien Squillaci (Lyon)

19. Willy Sagnol (Bayern Munich)

Midfielders

4. Patrick Vieira (Inter)

6. Claude Makelele (Chelsea)

7. Florent Malouda (Chelsea)

11. Samir Nasri (Marseille)

20. Jeremy Toulalan (Lyon)

21. Lassana Diarra (Portsmouth)

22. Franck Ribery (Bayern Munich)

(Mathieu Flamini (Milan), cover for Vieira)

Forwards

8. Nicolas Anelka (Chelsea)

9. Karim Benzema (Lyon)

10. Sidney Govou (Lyon)

12. Thierry Henry (Barcelona)

18. Bafetimbi Gomis (St. Etienne)

Team: Italy

Manager: Roberto Donadoni’s appointment was admitted by Demetrio Albertini (then vice-president of the Italian FA) as being something of a gamble, and so far it looks like paying off. Relatively inexperienced as a coach, he’s already had two spells in charge Livorno, sandwiching a three-game spell at Genoa (yes, it took him that little time to get sacked), with a couple of decent top-half finishes. Jury’s still out.

Strip: All blue. Second strip is white shirt, black shorts, white socks.

Captain: With talismanic Fabio Cannavaro being ruled out of the tournament this morning following a training injury, Gianluigi Buffon will almost certainly take on the armband. He’ll be as brilliant as ever, and represents a huge part of Italy’s hopes. If you score one goal against Buffon per game, you feel lucky.

Form: Recovered from a stuttering start to qualifying (drew with Lithuania and lost to France) but came back strongly to top the group, fighting off the dogged Scots and vengeful French. Their final warm-up friendly yielded a 3-1 victory over Belgium, though it remains to be seen what Cannavaro’s withdrawal will do to their morale.

Man to Watch: Fabio Quagliarella of Udinese is establishing himself in the Italy team after developing a knack of scoring stunning goals in Serie A. Fast and two-footed, he may not make the first team but will be one of a whole host of potential supersubs for the world champions.

Prediction: The loss of Cannavaro will hurt, particularly as they no longer have Alessandro Nesta to dominate the defense in his stead. I can see them succumbing to Spain in the quarters, though they should still give a good account of themselves.

Squad List:

Goalkeepers

1. Gianluigi Buffon (Juventus)

14. Marco Amelia (Livorno)

17. Morgan De Sanctis (Sevilla)

Defenders

2. Christian Panucci (Roma)

3. Fabio Grosso (Lyon)

4. Giorgio Chiellini (Juventus)

5. Alessandro Gamberini (Fiorentina)

6. Andrea Barzagli (Palermo)

19. Gianluca Zambrotta (Milan)

23. Marco Materazzi (Inter)

Midfielders

8. Gennaro Gattuso (Milan)

10. Daniele De Rossi (Roma)

13. Massimo Ambrosini (Milan)

16. Mauro Camoranesi (Juventus)

20. Simone Perrotta (Roma)

21. Andrea Pirlo (Milan)

22. Alberto Aquilani (Roma)

Forwards

7. Alessandro Del Piero (Juventus)

9. Luca Toni (Bayern Munich)

11. Antonio Di Natale (Udinese)

12. Marco Boriello (Milan)

15. Fabio Quagliarella (Udinese)

18. Antonio Cassano (Sampdoria)

Team: the Netherlands

Manager: Marco van Basten, bound for Ajax after the championships, has still yet to entirely convince as an international manager. He did guide them to a 15-match unbeaten run soon after taking the job in 2004, but despite his best efforts has not yet been able to bring back the exciting attacking football that we all expect from the Dutch. Has not got an awful lot to lose considering the group Holland find themselves in, so hopefully he’ll get his players to put on a show.

Strip: Orange shirts (of course), white shorts, blue socks. Second strip is all blue (in differing shades) with white socks.

Captain: Goalkeeper Edwin van der Sar has flattered to deceive in recent years, his blushes saved on numerous occasions by Manchester United’s superb central defensive partnership of Ferdinand and Vidic. This must surely be his last international tournament, but the most-capped Dutch player of all time will be hoping to go out on a high. Maarten Stekelenburg is waiting in the wings…

Form: the Netherlands had little trouble in their group, with fellow-group-C-ers Romania being the biggest obstacle. Indeed, van Basten’s team took just one point from their two meetings with the men in yellow but still qualified with a game to spare – luckily, as they then lost their final game 2-1 to Belarus. Certainly not totally convincing. A 1-1 draw with Denmark in their first friendly told us little, though their 2-0 win over Wales more recently was achieved with real quality.

Man to Watch: PSV Eindhoven’s 22-year-old midfielder Ibrahim Afellay is an exciting talent, and though he will probably start on the bench, expect him to have an impact as a creative right-sided player.

Prediction: I doubt they’ll live up to their part in the ‘Group of Death’ tag.  They should finish third, though considering their recent history with Romania, don’t even take that for granted. Getting out of the group probably won’t happen.

Squad List:

Goalkeepers

1. Edwin van der Sar (Man United)

13. Henk Timmer (Feyenoord)

16. Maarten Stekelenburg (Ajax)

Defenders

2. Andre Ooijer (Blackburn)

3. Johnny Heitinga (Atletico Madrid)

4. Joris Mathijsen (Hamburg)

5. Giovanni van Bronckhorst (Feyenoord)

12. Mario Melchiot (Wigan)

14. Wilfred Bouma (Aston Villa)

15. Tim de Cler (Feyenoord)

21. Khalid Boulahrouz (Chelsea)

Midfielders

6. Demy de Zeeuw (AZ Alkmaar)

8. Orlando Engelaar (FC Twente)

10. Wesley Sneijder (Real Madrid)

11. Arjen Robben (Real Madrid)

17. Nigel de Jong (Hamburg)

20. Ibrahim Afellay (PSV)

23. Rafael van der Vaart (Hamburg)

Forwards

7. Robin van Persie (Arsenal)

9. Ruud van Nistelrooy (Real Madrid)

18. Dirk Kuyt (Liverpool)

19. Klaas-Jan Huntelaar (Ajax)

22. Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink (Celtic)

Team: Romania

Manager: Last time Victor Piturca led Romania to a major tournament (Euro 2000), he was sacked before the first game of the competition because of disputes with the team’s big name players. Since returning in December 2004, he narrowly missed out on World Cup qualification before stylishly leading his team to Austria and Switzerland ahead of Holland.

Strip: All yellow with blue sides and trim. Second strip is all white with red sides and blue trim.

Captain: Inter Milan defender Cristian Chivu is the bedrock of the Romanian defence. One of the best defenders in Italy, he also has a wicked left foot when it comes to taking free-kicks. Capable of playing in midfield if necessary, but he’s much better at centre-back.

Form: Ten games unbeaten in qualifying, including six wins on the trot, indicate that Romania are ready for this. A good win over Russia in March was followed by a comfortable 4-0 over Montenegro in their final warm-up.

Man to Watch: 28-year-old attacking midfielder Nicolae Dica scored two in the win against Montenegro, and 8 goals in 25 appearances backs up his reputation as a goalscoring threat from midfield. Dynamic and powerful, he’ll be running the show from the middle of the park.

Squad List:

Goalkeepers

1. Bogdan Lobont (Dinamo Bucharest)

12. Marius Popa (Poli 1912)

23. Edward Stancioiu (CFR Cluj)

Defenders

2. Cosmin Contra (Getafe)

3. Razvan Rat (Shakhtar Donetsk)

4. Gabriel Tamas (Auxerre)

5. Cristian Chivu (Inter)

6. Mirel Radoi (Steaua Bucharest)

13. Cristian Sapunaru (Rapid Bucharest)

14. Sorin Ghionea (Steaua Bucharest)

15. Dorin Goian (Steaua Bucharest)

17. Cosmin Moti (Steaua Bucharest)

22. Stefan Radu (Lazio)

Midfielders

7. Florentin Petre (CSKA Sofia)

8. Paul Codrea (Siena)

11. Razvan Cocis (Lokomotiv Moscow)

16. Banel Nicolita (Steaua Bucharest)

19. Adrian Cristea (Dinamo Bucharest)

20. Nicolae Dica (Steaua Bucharest)

Forwards

9. Ciprian Marica (Stuttgart)

10. Adrian Mutu (Fiorentina)

18. Marius Niculae (Inverness CT)

21. Daniel Niculae (Auxerre)